A SCREW IS NOT A SIMPLE MACHINE

Ok so you have a wedge, ok? Wedge is dumb, but it's already there. We've all agreed on the wedge. Is a wedge a machine? No. It shouldn't be. It's not engineering, it's geometry. But, like, someone decided "Wedge is machine" so we're stuck with it now. Now a wedge is a machine. You ever seen a triangle? That's a machine. Is a trapezoid a different machine? Dunno. Maybe it's just two wedges.

But then, some fool has tried to convince me that a screw is a simple machine. A screw?! A scew is NOT a machine! It is, once again, at best, some geometry. Even if you say "Well if a wedge can be a machine then a screw can too" that doesn't work 'cause we've already got the wedge. The wedge is already a machine, and what is a screw but a circularized wedge? If you take a wedge and wrap it around a cylinder, Bam! That's a screw! It's a thing we already have! Screw is not a new, unique concept previously unheard of. It's just a wedge!

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, this is truly the greatest issue of our time. Thank you.